Tuesday, March 18, 2014


you need to put your ego aside, and everyone else's opinion aside. think about the right thing. think about being a decent person, and then do what you have to. suffer a little bit, it makes you a better person. it gives you some depth. 

Monday, March 10, 2014


does it occur to people that other people have lives outside of what they tweet, post, or reblog? if you haven't met me. you don't know me. 

what I just wrote above...that was me explaining what I could write in less than 140 characters. not only do social networks give others false perceptions of people, but it makes us minimize what we have to say. I want to be able to RANT.

twitter is just one small inkling of an example, of what bullshit is in this world that holds us down from living, really living. 

Monday, March 3, 2014

this is my survival

and life...it can so easily take your breath away if you just take a longer look. 

life is beautiful. 

this is my survival. I write so I can see how I survive, I survive because I write. 

Thursday, September 26, 2013

the worst kind

getting satisfaction over someone else's satisfaction, I can't explain it. is that love?
I think it's a part of love but when it's just that and nothing else, it's lust.
so after I justify it for myself, now I can say that his satisfaction is mine. the things I do just to know he will like it, it's all because I'm satisfied with myself when he's satisfied with me. 
it sounds very unhealthy, and it probably is. but I can't help it.

Monday, September 23, 2013

it feels great to be needed

the greatest feeling has to be getting over someone completely. 
where you don't hate them, you can be around them, you can even have a conversation with them and finally be happy for their happiness. 
we have wronged each other so many times that I forgot whose fault it was to begin with, but I know now that what has come out of it all was getting to know someone, and tonight I found out that whether its romantic or just friends, that that someone needs me. 

Saturday, September 7, 2013

I'm depressed.

I'm depressed. every day is tough, some days are tougher, and every now and then just thinking about another day cripples me.
I'm depressed but I've accepted it. it may have taken me years but im here now. yeah I'm sad but that's a part of me. I'm always thinking a million miles per hour and sometimes it just paralyzes me. instead of trying to cure myself, I need to find myself. that may take just sitting in bed and thinking some more or it may take a vacation, or road trip. 
I wish I could look up, but instead of always looking down, I can at least look forward. 
I've been trying to cure myself for so long  because I never could accept who I am. I still haven't but I do know, you can't cure who you are.
I can't cure who I am. I have to accept it, and live with it. because life is the only option and I am who I am. 

Thursday, August 29, 2013


you're a distraction to my life. I have all these things I should be worried about but I worry about you the most. I don't worry in a bad way, but you consume my thoughts. and there's not a day where we aren't talking, how do you not get distracted by something like that? everything about you: your smile, your eyes, your voice, your laugh, the way you think you're an asshole but you have this side to you that's like a little kid, how you kiss me, how you play, your way with words. everything about you kills me, just knocks me the fuck out. and wherever my feelings go with this, it'll be worth it. you can crush me and it would be the best. you warned me and i haven't even tried to stay away, how could I? I'm so used to you, how could I stay away?