Tuesday, December 13, 2011

secret 5: i dont burn to feel something, i burn to feel physical pain, not mental and emotional

I dont cut myself. I would never. I dont like blood, and I can't even watch movies where people are stabbed. Flesh being open is gross and im scared of it. So I burn myself, funny thing is im also afraid of fire. My worst fears are being stabbed and being burned so my logic in the cutting isn't very "stable"

I dont think scars from burning last long and I can always use the same burn always burn right over it so I dont have a bunch everywhere. Just two burns. I burn with a paperclip, I just take a lighter to it and put the end to my skin. Its a like a little "C" on my wrist, I never hold it there because it stings and im terrified of pain I just tap it until the sting goes away and then I press and the pain is instant, it goes away fast and the skin I burned lifts a little and I have to hide it just for a couple days.

This secret makes no sense, I hate pain, I hate cute, I hate blood, im scared of being burned, I dont do it to feel. So why the fuck do I do it?

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