Monday, December 12, 2011

unmotivated, un-alive, unloved, uncared.

Im a cranky, indecisive bitch. But you'll learn that's no secret.

If I can't have you, no one can. But I can have you, i just push you away. I wish I loved you I do, but a week ago I was easily without you. I keep reading books..like usual.

They all have twists at the end that are so unexpected, and they are all about rape or finding out that your really a second person
 it scares me, it gives me anxiety, my anxiety has been extremely bad, im in edge..jumping out of my skin. I want to die. But i can't, im too scared of the unknown and im scared no one will miss me.

I think i was raped, i know I've brought it up before but now its what im always thinking about. No one knows, but people have asked but i always say no because i never thought of it that way..until now. But no one has asked recently.

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