Monday, January 23, 2012


this boy..

He’s my age, has tattoos, dark hair, light eyes, hes taller then me, and strong. He used to like me but waiting it out made him like me more, he always has to be near me, holding my hand, or kissing me. He’s not passive; hee kissesme whenever he wants, without warning and i let him kiss me whenever he wants because i love it. he opens doors for me, and tells me he thinks my hair is the shit even though its a knotty mess. He wants to meet my dad, and already loves my mom. We have the same friends, and he smokes pot, and even better he buys me pot. We’ve been really good friends for 3 years and he always said hes gunna marry me and treat me right, make me breakfast in the morning, and no one will be better then him. 
What can i say? I cant say no. i just cant, because im smiling and that counts for alot.
im happy. not tired, or sad, or crying. im just..happy.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

lost with someone else

For the past two days, i have been worried about someone else, every time she would go to the bathroom or leave the room i thought she was going to kill herself. And everytime she told me she had nothing, and there was nothing to live for anymore and she just cant. I said nothing, and when she asked for me to say something i told her i didn't know what to say. Because i feel the same way except, i just know i have to live, for my mom and dad..maybe. But she doesnt have a mom and dad that care. I didn't know what to tell her because if i have my mom and dad and i want to die, i have no idea why someone without and mom and dad doesnt want to die. When a crazy person asks another crazy person for advice it'll end badly so i just said nothing. She has to make the decision on her own. My best friend might kill herself and I have no reason to give her to live, I dont even have reason for myself to live.

Monday, January 2, 2012

the truth is..

i know we are never going to work,all these months weve been trying and holding onto eachother but its never going to work so ive been secretly getting over you and moving on and ive been finding it pretty easy but now i feel like im stringing you along which was never my intentions. and its been impossible to get out there and be with other people...boys, because everyone thinks weare something that we are not.

secret number..idk i havent been following: its over.