Wednesday, November 28, 2012

all the what ifs

when you're in highscool you always blame the town you're in for why you're unhappy. atleast that's what I do.
so I'm just wondering if it really is this town or if when I leave nothing is going to change. maybe it is just me.
or what if I never leave? what if I never leave because I am too attached to every, little, thing. I'm attached to my co workers, and my teachers, so many people have broke me and helped me and inspired me here that what if I leave and I miss them all too much. what if I think leaving will solve all my problems but really it doesn't. or what if I don't leave and I just keep getting worst.
ill never know until I try I guess. but I'm a coward. I may just be too much of a pussy to even try.
what if I stay for someone who doesn't want me? what if I wait around?
just what if...

Sunday, November 11, 2012

it's that time of year

time for the biggest fuck ups
and I out did it this time, fucked up baddd.
yeah the one persons opinion that matters to me lost respect for me, I was almost dating his best friend while fucking around with someone else who didn't know I was with someone and he's actually friends wth him too and I shouldn't have fucked around with someone I actually care about while almost dating someone I actually could care less about. yeah you don't get it?
confusing enough for you?
well in other words..
IM A HUGE FUCK UP.
and the person that lost respect for me is way worst then me so for him to even call me out..

Friday, November 9, 2012

chicken little

after watching movies about the world ending, and having dreams, and the president election, and black outs in my county I'm getting paranoid. it's such an irrational fear but I am terrified of the world ending and me not getting a chance to say what's needed. so if we do get some kind of time or warning before it does end..

I wouldn't lie, I wouldn't sugar coat anything I would tell everyone how I really felt if they asked and I'd say bye to everyone whose made an impact on me, enjoy it, find a complete stranger who is just as lonely and go on an adventure to nowhere. and call my dad in the very last minutes.

the sky is, infact, falling.
atleast that's what I feel.