Tuesday, August 20, 2013

I've been waiting for this moment and now what

my dad has always pushed me to do good and school and go to college. and I've always wanted to do good in school and go to college.
but here we are, less than a week away from my first day and my car is broke, my dog is dying, I'm going to fucking college and my dad is leaving. not for business or anything important. he's leaving to get away from the stress and he didn't even notice that what he's stressed out about is what I'm even more stressed anout. you're stressed about my life, well I am too. so it's a bit selfish and inconsiderate for you to get up and go and not to stop and think for one god damn second that I need you.
he leaves in one day, and my car is still not working. I've given him money once a week for the past month so it could be fixed by the time he leaves and nothing has been done. but he still thinks its okay to whine and complain to me about what I'm doing wrong. that's not okay, you're leaving me! after all this time of pushing me to get where I'm about to be, it's all about to go to shit just because I don't have a fucking car. I could've done this on my own if I had warning, I could've done it like I wanted to but you were the one that convinced me to stay and live with you. for what? so you can fucking leave when I need you most. I haven't had a peaceful moment in weeks because I'm stressed and you've taken it upon yourself to be stressed for me and I totally love you for that, but don't leave. don't fucking leave. 

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